Tonight I sit alone in the darkness, the warmth of the fire taking the chill off the brisk winters night. I’ve moved the mattress into the lounge room, taking full advantage of the cracking flames, and created what Brendon would call ‘the pit’, I’ve surround myself with pillows and a heavy feather duvet.

Wind whistles through the veranda beams, pressing erratically against the window frames, causing them to shudder in response. I’m happy here. Tonight, the pitch black and the present elements are friends. I am safe. I am whole. The feeling’s of anxiousness and unease that have plagued my body this last few days, pressing in on all sides and constricting my chest until I was sure my heart would shatter or stop beating, have eased. I now control my soul and focus on healing once more. Or maybe my soul controls me? Whatever the answer, for tonight we are at peace.

 


Every now an then your breath shallows, your insides seem to constrict, crushing your heart space, and panic sets in. Panic of some kind whether you recognise it or not.

Pause, take three deep breaths and allow yourself to analyse the cause. What are you thinking about? Why does it scare you? Trace the emotion and discover the truth.

Personally, I know this happens to me when I’m overthinking (always the worse case scenario), and creating images of things that aren’t real. I’m tormenting myself with my worst nightmare and seem to have suddenly convinced myself that it could be real. Perhaps your jealousy creates these scenes, perhaps the fear of not succeeding or perhaps you feel as though your dreams are disappearing and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Break these emotions down and realise they are irrational. The universe always takes care of you. You are safe. Everything is happening in the perfect time space sequence. You don’t need to struggle to achieve your desires. Just trust that they will happen.

So take those deep breaths and allow the tightness to float away. You are safe, and so are your dreams.

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